tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-59482392011-04-21T10:49:51.142-07:00I need words as wide as skyI need a language larger than this longing inside
I need a voice bigger than mine
I need a song to sing You that I've yet to find
I need YouMaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comBlogger1721100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1166315747454778352006-12-16T16:35:00.000-08:002006-12-16T16:35:47.466-08:00I've been thinking about the way that church is done and wondering if there is a better way to structure certain things. See, the way it works now, church generally has several sub-meetings along with the usual weekly meeting, and these sub-meetings have certian purposes and target certain people. There's children's Sunday school, youth group, outreach events, prayer meetings, etc. On top of thatMaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1164613906026946402006-11-26T23:50:00.000-08:002006-11-26T23:52:55.553-08:00The snow was coming down hard that night, as I sat in front of the TV, listless. My brain and heart ached with a tumult of emotion: frustration with myself and the sins that I cannot seem to defeat, inadequacy in my role as a leader, and fear that my weakness and depravity will be exposed: Sheesh Mary, you're a youth leader! You're supposed to have those things dealt with!!It was not only fear ofMaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1161973329482514402006-10-27T11:21:00.000-07:002006-10-27T11:22:09.576-07:00Interesting Theological StuffOk, so I just had my weekly meeting with Scott, and I mentioned to him the idea brought up at youth group by some kids that we are here to entertain God, and the question of why God creates people who he knows are going to go to hell. Here are his thoughts... very interesting:-God is relational... like we as humans are relational. I don't want to get married someday Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1161290319574560672006-10-19T13:38:00.000-07:002006-10-19T13:39:15.350-07:00What is Christianity anyways?You know, I think the biggest thing I'm learning in this intensive is that the way we look at Christianity- and what being a Christian is, not to mention how we teach it to our young people, is a little off. We often think that the point of Christianity is us. We need to change, we need to become more like God, we need to work on our relationship with Him. If I asked Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1158538017382163972006-09-17T16:48:00.000-07:002006-09-17T17:06:57.396-07:00Today at church, Galen spoke, and he talked about purity. Of course, being Galen and having the specific passions that he has, he mentioned movies and entertainment, as well as some other things like relationships and stuff. It's interesting, Galen has a way of getting a point, even a harsh point, across in a way that is gentle and non-offensive, but powerful and convicting nonetheless. That Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1158124151231219962006-09-12T22:07:00.000-07:002006-09-12T22:09:11.250-07:00How far are you, how close am II know your words are true and I don't feel them insideStill I believe you'll never leaveSo where are you nowYou're all I have, You're all I knowYour breath is breathing in my soulStill I am gasping, aching, askingWhere are you nowCause I just wanna be with YouI just want this waiting to be overI just want to be with YouAnd it helps to know the Day is getting Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1157492583096095472006-09-05T14:42:00.000-07:002006-09-05T14:43:03.116-07:00QuestionsSo Jesus said that He came to give life to the full, right?And He is the One Thing that will satisfy, right?If that's true, then why do I get bored in church (and I'm the youth leader!)? Why do I find my mind wandering during worship songs? Why do my pastor's exhorations to spend time reading the Bible seem like a chore? Why does the thought of "daily devotions" make me cringe? Why, whenMaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1156623452554698202006-08-26T13:15:00.000-07:002006-08-26T13:17:32.570-07:00REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE.WHO ARE YOU?First of all, you are totally, unconditionally, and inescapably loved by God. He knows everything about you- your strengths and weaknesses, what you did yesterday and what you’ll do tomorrow, what you think about, what you fear, and what you dream of, and He still loves you. Not only does He love you, He likes you! More than that, He’s CRAZY about you! He just Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1156116729773307102006-08-20T16:25:00.000-07:002006-08-20T16:37:36.636-07:00It's been a long time since I've written. I've been very busy with youth group and VBS stuff. (For more info on what I did this summer, visit adventuresofanintern.blogspot.com). Now the VBS is over, and I'm left here wondering where the summer went. Looking forward to the coming year, seeing old friends again, and learning more, but at the same time reluctant to say goodbye to all that I've done Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1153284300665569062006-07-18T21:44:00.000-07:002006-07-18T21:45:00.680-07:00GOD IS LOVE.What would my life look like if I actually believed this, like, REALLY knew it in the deepest part of my being? How would I spend my time, what would I think of myself, how would I treat others?Go chew on that three word sentence for awhile...GOD IS LOVE.Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1151560978291720522006-06-28T23:02:00.000-07:002006-06-28T23:02:58.306-07:00In the HallwayShe stands in the hallway, mind reeling, indecisiveness pulling at every fibre of her being. It is dark out here, the only light coming from under the two doorways, both shut firm, refusing to acknowldge one another. Which door should she choose?Behind the door of Room 1 is her life and childhood. The room is painted in vibrant hues, posters praising Jesus, advertising the latest Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1151344646965823682006-06-26T10:37:00.000-07:002006-06-26T10:57:26.983-07:00When I was 16, my life was consumed with excitement about Jesus. He was the first thing I thought of in the morning, and everything- from my friendships to the way I used my time even to the stories I wrote in my mind- revolved around Him. My friends and I existed to be excited about Jesus together. His Kingdom was also on my mind, and I deperately wanted to see revival happen (by that I mean Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1150818366279184142006-06-20T08:35:00.000-07:002006-06-20T08:46:06.323-07:00Last Sunday was Father's day, and I was at church. We were singing "He brought me to his banqueting table", and the line "We delight ourselves at Your table O God" really hit me. I started to think about how Dad played with us girls when we were little. He used to lie on the floor and we'd run around the "Tickle Machine", and at any given time, he'd grab one of us and tickle us. He'd also tell usMaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1149560210565741912006-06-05T19:16:00.000-07:002006-06-05T19:16:50.586-07:00So I'm reading a book called "Making Sense of Church", that has a lot of stuff taken off the "Ooze" site. It's a discussion about the Church and about new ways of doing things... new styles of leadership, etc. I think the basic idea of this whole emerging church thing is that in this new, postmodern age, people are a lot more oriented towards the experiential than the rational. However, the Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1148713003324324842006-05-26T23:55:00.000-07:002006-05-28T14:32:30.060-07:00Mary's Seemingly Heretical TheoryI'm rarely shocked by anything that any teen tells me. A kid could tell me that he has 3 girlfriends AND 3 boyfriends, sells heroin to 6-year olds, and lives in a cardboard box in an alley, and I prolly wouldn't be shocked (unless, of course, I knew the kid already and thought he was a "good little boy"). But tonight, I got shocked by something a good, Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1148154287759007572006-05-20T12:34:00.000-07:002006-05-20T12:44:47.776-07:00So I was just watching the second "Quest" video (a video series that's designed to get young people to think about what they believe in and to consider following Jesus), and in this one, Phil Cann, the series host, explains that following Jesus can be a hugely exciting, challenging thing to do- in reality, anything BUT boring! This got me thinking about my friend Jason's theory that our main Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1147387818300608132006-05-11T15:49:00.000-07:002006-05-11T15:50:18.313-07:00I finally got around to watching the first of those Matthew movies that I'm always going on about. Those movies are rad. Jesus is so rad. You know, with all the things I'm into, and all the things I'm learning, there's 2 things I want more than anything, and the movies always help me refocus on those things. More than any flourishing ministry, brilliant revelation, totally correct theological Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1147213401610101812006-05-09T15:22:00.000-07:002006-05-09T15:23:21.623-07:00I just realized that it was one year ago today that I'd unofficially say my life changed and I "came back to God", in a tiny, tropical country near the equator.There was no specific "moment of truth" on that day, no prayer of recommitment, nothing formal at all. All I know is that on May 9, 2005, I wrote a journal entry saying how suddenly I felt different. For the first time in a long while, I Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1146624519426738172006-05-02T19:30:00.000-07:002006-05-02T19:48:39.440-07:00I'm back at home, and it often seems that life at home, especially when I'm not working, falls into the same routine over and over (although not in a bad way. I get up around 9ish, make breakfast, drink tea, lounge around and read or listen to music or hang out with God (or all three), drink more tea, then eventually have a shower, then eat lunch, walk the dog, do the breakfast dishes, and then Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1145218502457900442006-04-16T13:04:00.000-07:002006-04-16T13:39:50.166-07:00I wrote this story about myself. I challenge you to take it and rewrite it about you. The only parts you're allowed to change are the beginning (the birth story, as it's probably different for you), the things that God likes about you (listen to His voice for these), and the things you struggle with. Oh, and if you're male you can change the "she" pronouns to "he" ones too!As a tiny newborn girl Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1144363806449239952006-04-06T15:45:00.000-07:002006-04-06T15:50:06.470-07:00Yesterday my buddy Peter (who's from Victoria but now lives in Burnaby) rode his motorcycle down to Surrey to visit me at youth group. He had this plastic bag with him and the whole time at youth I was wondering what it was, so finally when youth was over I asked him, and he was like "what do YOU think?" and then pulls out... a second motorcycle helmet and jacket! I was like "Yesss!" cuz I Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1144035283450875732006-04-02T20:29:00.000-07:002006-04-02T20:39:03.473-07:00LordI know You love me.I've known that since I was 2 years old when Mom used to rock me in that rocking chair and sing "Jesus Loves Me".But sometimes I wonder if You love me just because You're God and that's Your job.Do You like me?Sometimes I can't imagine that You do.Sometimes I think You must get very frustratedat my constantly doing the wrong thingoverand overagain.Sometimes I think You mustMaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1143428813049743552006-03-26T18:51:00.000-08:002006-03-26T19:06:53.063-08:00You know, I love Bible college. I love learning new things, and I love it enough that I might even go to seminary someday. I'm constantly amazed at the little things that I'm learning, the new ways that God is revealing Himself through the words of my teachers, the books I'm reading etc.Yet sometimes I get so focused on learning about God- amazing as it is- that I miss Him when He walks by. I getMaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1142628825393765632006-03-17T12:53:00.000-08:002006-03-17T12:53:45.403-08:00I learned some RAD stuff in class today, stuff that it super-encouraging and awesome, about how the rabbi system in Israel worked. You might think that sounds boring, but believe me, it isn't...So in the Jewish rabbinical system, a boy would go Jewish school from ages 6-8, and he would memorize the whole Torah (Genesis-Deuteronomy). Then, if he did a really good job, he'd go to the next level (Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1142233021730196972006-03-12T22:37:00.000-08:002006-03-12T22:57:39.330-08:00I am a bundle of paradoxes.I am childlike, crazy and spontaneous. I like to jump up and down and dance like no one is watching and be totally crazy and spontaneous and FUN, to the point where I'll neglect my responsibilities.butI am an adult, or at least trying to figure out how to be one. I love it when I feel grown up, I love the feelings of independence. I feel like I should buy a day planner Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1141838591791207012006-03-08T09:23:00.000-08:002006-03-08T09:23:11.800-08:00When I was younger I used to love the idea of "living by faith". Here's what living by faith looks like for me now...I owe PLBC $2550. Even if I were to give them every cent that I earned from now until the end of April, and I got a scholarship, and my tax money came in soon, I'd stll be short close to $1000. If I didn't have the money by the end of the semester..-I wouldn't be able to write my Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1141440228509709662006-03-03T18:43:00.000-08:002006-03-03T18:43:48.523-08:00So, I have a theory... this will be long-winded, but if you like philsophy, it's worth it... So today at work I had one too many customers miscommunicate to me and then get mad at me for not understanding them. I guess it was obvious that I was stressed out, cuz one of my managers told me to calm down, and then said "Never let the customers see that you're upset". Which got me thinking, as I Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1140818136777949652006-02-24T13:52:00.000-08:002006-02-24T13:55:36.790-08:00Jesus...I NEED YOU!!!I need you SO much! My soul aches for your love, your Spirit. I need you more than water or oxygen or anything. Where can I get a taste of your love? Where can this parched soul be refreshed? Drench me in You, Lord. I'm desperate. DES=PER-ATE! Pleeeeeease!!! I need you NOW!I'm gonna go insane without your PRESENCE!!! -maryMaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1140483426123293202006-02-20T16:52:00.000-08:002006-02-20T16:57:06.133-08:00How much good it would do us if we as Christians could truly believe these 4 things:1. We as human beings are completely weak and helpless, unable to accomplish anything good on our own efforts.2. We have a God who is all-powerful, who can do anything we need and bring us through the roughest of situations.3. This God completely and totally accepts us as our weak, pathetic selves- brokennes, sin,Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1139883364819906002006-02-13T18:15:00.000-08:002006-02-13T18:16:04.833-08:00So today I learned, from 2 different teachers, that I tend to be in a lot of legalistic bondange to certain beliefs that aren't even biblical! In Hermenutics, we somehow got on to the topic of marriage (we were discussing 1 Cor 7), and I brought up the idea that so many of my friends at home believe that says "In order for you to be ready for marriage, you must be totally satisfied with being Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1139592850739829952006-02-10T09:09:00.000-08:002006-02-10T09:34:10.796-08:00Once upon a time, a girl went to a discipleship school 6 hours away from her home. While she was there, she discovered a passion that she had for helping out young people. A few weeks into the school, they all went to a camp to do a work weekend/retreat. It was great fun. The director of the camp's name was Scotty, and he was this short little guy with a big heart. This girl told Scotty that she Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1138862177778423802006-02-01T22:18:00.000-08:002006-02-01T22:36:17.793-08:00As you may have figured out if you read this a lot, the main thing that God's been teaching me as of late is the fact that it is far more important to be with Him, to be His friend and grow more intimate with Him, than it is to run around doing stuff for Him.But look at what modern Christianity has done to that truth... pretty much destroyed it! A few cases in point... -the other day at Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1138665571368150482006-01-30T15:40:00.000-08:002006-01-30T15:59:31.480-08:00Things that I'm learning in class and out:1. About theology: I may go to a charasmatic Bible college, but my theology is becoming more and more "reformed". If you have no clue what this means, basically it's that I tend to see God's pwoer and grace as higher than man's efforts, and that everything God gives us is a gift of grace, not something earned. I learned the difference between "covenant Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1138321324220747902006-01-26T16:10:00.000-08:002006-01-26T16:22:04.243-08:00Don't you just love it when you've grown up knowing something but you never really "got it" until you had lived a few years short of a quarter-century? Today my friend Naomi and I were talking and she told me something a lady at her parents' church said. It made me cry. A lot. We've all read the verse that says to cast all your cares upon Christ. And we all know that He died for our sins. But areMaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1138243497450766992006-01-25T18:36:00.000-08:002006-01-25T18:44:57.450-08:00How to Become a Contemplative Mystic Without Leaving CampusI'm reading "The Practice of the Presence of God" by Brother Lawrence, and it's teaching me that you don't have to go live in a monastery and hide from the rest of the world in order to go deep with God. Yes, I know that the guy who wrote this was a monk, but that's not the point. He talks about how you can stay in communion with God all Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1137526963058598432006-01-17T11:32:00.000-08:002006-01-17T11:42:43.130-08:00God is finally setting me free from the rejection issues that I've struggled with for so long. The other day my friend and I had a woman from our church pray for us, and she said that rejection was like a cord that was tying me up. God was going to cut the cord and the devil would still be able to throw lies at me, but now I would be able to fight them. She prayed for me and it was a really weirdMaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1136318335178177572006-01-03T11:48:00.000-08:002006-01-03T12:27:31.396-08:00RestSociety wanders its existence in these days under a grey shroud called Busyness. We run from this activity to the next, chasing something fleeting, like ants scurrying about their hill- only we are not building anything so great. Our coffins are lined with worry, fear, stress, and insecurity. We work all day holding up our carefully fabricated masks of sugary sweet falsehood, and then at Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1135389364603818592005-12-23T17:43:00.000-08:002005-12-23T17:56:04.613-08:00So ever since I got home, I've been totally over-exhausted, sleeping in a LOT more than usual, and quite grumpy/cranky. I totally accidentally snapped at our Japanese student today (someone kept picking up the phone whenI was on it and trying to dial, and I forgot that she was around and thought it was someone in my family, and after telling them to hang up a few times, I yelled "Would you STOP Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1135031336553478462005-12-19T14:14:00.000-08:002005-12-20T10:18:09.856-08:00Okay, so I've been thinking a lot about the church in the past few months, probably partly because I was in a Concepts of the Church class, but also from many experiences: going to big churches like Bible Fellowship, going to smaller group things like Emerge and the RASKWAM crew over here in Vic, being taught be teachers from a variety of denominational backgrounds, reading several books and Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1134370070016228142005-12-11T22:41:00.000-08:002005-12-11T22:53:06.916-08:00K, I have figured something out about myself. I have NO CLUE how to rest in God, how to "be still and know". I know it's a good thing. I'd be prone to recommending it to others. I've prolly even written papers about it. But when it comes to doing it... I suck. Yes I do. Great... now I'm a hypocrite too!Whenever I try to read my Bible for any length of time I get distracted. When I pray my brain Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1133740029870979492005-12-04T15:43:00.000-08:002005-12-04T17:01:13.840-08:00Awesome things that I'm thankful for right now:Snow everywhere! Walking in it and feeling the icy crunch under my feet, staring at the silvery coating on branches and trees and rooftops, the feathery flakes dancing downward onto my face, hearing the peaceful blanket of silence that falls along with the snowflakes. Feeling the actual tangible presence of God last night at Worship Invasion... it Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1132774510275485692005-11-23T11:33:00.001-08:002005-11-23T11:35:10.283-08:00Random Revelation of the Day (something I already knew but God kinda really showed it to me today):The same God who dwelled in the Holy of Holies, whose presence was enough to kill you if you went there, who is high and lifted up, who the Israelites were probably a bit afraid of...THAT God lives inside of you~Freaky or what?Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1131658528505497912005-11-10T13:24:00.000-08:002005-11-10T13:35:28.520-08:00DreamsSo in chapel today the speaker was talking about how God has put dreams in our hearts and how we need to believe for them and not let anything hold us back! Then at lunch I was sitting with Ben, his buddy Brandon, and Melissa, and Ben started asking us what our dreams are. The thing is, I have TONS of dreams!! How am I supposed to settle on one? Or do I have to?Here's a few of them...Be a Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1131342076126505502005-11-06T21:20:00.000-08:002005-11-06T21:53:44.156-08:00So in the last 2 days I have had several intersting thoughts and experiences with church, and it's making me ask some interesting questions about the church, and the way it could look in the future. Yesterday we went on the Temple Tour. We visited a mosque, a Buddhist temple, and a Sikh temple. The first two were opposites in a lot of ways. The mosque was very bare and felt... empty. Very empty. Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1130977068849045652005-11-02T16:10:00.000-08:002005-11-02T16:20:36.753-08:00God has spoken this to me over the last week or so in the middle of incredibly rough circumstances. I know that He gave it to me for me, but I also know I'm not the only one He is saying this to... so read it as His words to you as well.-maryIf only you knew how I smile when your face lights up in delight over Me and all I have given you.If only you knew I treasure your joy, your freedom, your Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1130390964962667712005-10-26T21:54:00.000-07:002005-10-26T22:50:32.203-07:00The air was hot and dusty as we left Sacramento that sunny October morning. We got on the road eagerly, ready for the 14-hour drive that would take us home to Vancouver. As the van eased onto the highway, I quickly noticed the scenery- or should I say, lack thereof. Both sides of the highway were graced with a dazzling display of... desert? Yes. Dry, barren, flat and hueless, the desert stretchedMaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1129506409039796602005-10-16T16:31:00.000-07:002005-10-16T16:46:49.060-07:00The other day on my little trip to White Rock, God decided to remind me of something I already knew. It's really cool though, so I'll share.If I were to ask you "What is God's biggest dream for your life?" you might give me one of many different answers. Maybe you'd tell me that He wants you to bring revival to your school, or see thousands of people saved, or to be a missionary to Africa. Most Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1128837169358728392005-10-08T22:46:00.000-07:002005-10-08T22:52:49.363-07:00Coming home for the weekend is soooo good! Recently I've been very very stressed by school and work and interning and all that stuff. It's been very hard for me to relax as of late. Being home is good, even if it's only a few days... time to slow down and chill out and all that good stuff. I'm loving it (thank you Mickey D's)! I've been kinda going crazy as of late... last night I freaked out Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1128555821223372182005-10-05T16:20:00.000-07:002005-10-05T16:43:41.230-07:00Okay. Today was freaking amazing. I learned the most incredible thing in my Historical Books class....So we all know the story of Joshua, or at least we kind of do. We knowe that he was the guy who led the Israelites into the Promised Land. But if you read Joshua chaplter 1 verse 4, a verse that we don't normally think about, you might discover something new. Here's the land God promised to them:Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1128095668035326972005-09-30T08:45:00.000-07:002005-09-30T08:54:28.040-07:00Yesterday we had Tom Gardener, the pastor of Sunshine Hills Foursquare church, came and spoke in chapel. His message was soooo cool! The jist of it is that we can look at ourselves as a gift to others. In each and every situation, we can ask "What can I do to contribute to this situation?" instead of asking "What's in it for me?" We can be an "impact player" wherever we go.What if we did this? Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1127784401599443172005-09-26T18:20:00.000-07:002005-09-26T18:26:41.606-07:00What I need right now is to be able to TRUST.To trust that God knows what He's doing in my life... this time of seemingly mundane things like school and work is for a reason...To trust that He will give me the energy and strength to push through each day flooded with lots of activities and too much homework and not enough sleep...To trust that He will sustain my freindships when I fear that they Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1127148257805694432005-09-19T09:35:00.000-07:002005-09-19T09:46:00.903-07:00I've never read The Hobbit, but I learned an important lesson from it this weekend Here's an explanation of it by David Penner."In J. R. R. Tolkien's The Hobbit, the magician Gandalf told the reluctant and unlikely hero Bilbo Baggins, "There is more to you than you know." He said this, knowing that within the hobbit's veins coursed blood not only from the sedentary Baggins side of the family but Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1126661102438168142005-09-13T18:24:00.000-07:002005-09-13T18:25:02.443-07:00Last night was crazy! I went for a walk with a few people and we were talking about revival and God doing rad stuff in people, and then we got back for Vespers (a worship/prayer thingy, for the non-plbc kids) and at the end, Jason got kinda blasted by God, and I decided I wanted some, so I asked him to pray for me and he did, and then I ended up on the floor laughing and kinda drunk in the spiritMaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1126337006551510572005-09-10T00:12:00.000-07:002005-09-10T00:23:26.556-07:00Well, here I am in Surrey, and I know all of you non-mainlanders are dying to hear how my life is... also, my roomie Libby is pestering me about writing a new post! So yeah... here goes....I'm soooo excited about this year! I'm having some incredibly rad times in worship with people here. The kids here are so hungry, always wanting to worship; it's so different from last year. I'm different too, Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1125343561976609522005-08-29T12:14:00.000-07:002005-08-29T12:26:36.610-07:00This Summer6 more days til I leave here, and wow, it's been an amazing summer. I was just reading over my blog posts from the last few months, and I'm amazed at how much I've learned, how far I've come, how much God has done in me over the course of this summer. To the ordinary onlooker, it would look like a normal, even boring summer. I worked a lot. I hung out at home, read books, bought the Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1125039148229647272005-08-25T23:26:00.000-07:002005-08-26T00:00:42.540-07:00Love is in the air right now. It's crazy. All around me, people are hooking up, dating, getting married, and planning to get married. I spent time with one friend who'd phone her boyfriend (who's currently out of the country) every night and I'd hear many a loving word exchanged. Another friend of mine is so excited about being in love that he's apparently acting like a giddy little kid, telling Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1124733819026273992005-08-22T11:00:00.000-07:002005-08-22T11:04:41.490-07:00I had some good times with God while visiting my friend Shelam in Nanaimo this weekend, and it got me thinking. Right before I left I read Danielle's LJ, and she's in CO with Ty right now. She was saying that she walked into the World Prayer Center (a thing that Ty's church does- a 24-hour prayer thing, like IHOP), and she didn't know what to expect, but the tangible presence of God was there, Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1124389133130400382005-08-18T11:15:00.000-07:002005-08-18T11:21:05.880-07:00Here I Am, World!!So my friend Libby, whom I have yet to actually meet, and I have been emailing, and we;ve ha a good 62 emails exchanged! We were running out of topics, so she suggested that we describe our personalities. I've never done that in depth before and I thought what came out was interesting... so yes, the following is my own description of who I am. Enjoy!The first thing you'd Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1124125990837763602005-08-15T10:12:00.000-07:002005-08-15T10:13:10.843-07:00Why am I such an insecure person?-maryMaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1123877705981934902005-08-12T12:46:00.000-07:002005-08-12T13:16:36.283-07:00Today, I find myself asking lots of questions about the Holy Spirit, and what is of Him and what is not."What, Mary? You're a Bible college student! You're supposed to be answering those questions, not asking them!" I know, I know. But I do have questions... mainly about all the "crazy stuff" and whether or not it's from God, and how to tell and all that.A brief history of my life...I went to Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1123473865694982002005-08-07T20:52:00.000-07:002005-08-07T21:13:55.803-07:00The trail leading to the beach was a rough one... beautiful but difficult, marked by twisted logs and slippery dark mud that I managed to fall into quite nicely. I stood up, attempting to brush the muck off of my pants, and worked through the tall stand of trees and that kept us from our destination. Finally I broke through the forest onto the beach... and found myself staring majesty in the Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1123352213460458562005-08-06T11:09:00.000-07:002005-08-06T11:19:53.076-07:00IndescribableThere are some things that words just can't describe...... the staggering beauty and romance of our God who loves us- even just the minute taste of this that I now know...... His love that I am only starting to begin to understand...... His renewing work in my life, the feeling of being made new in Him and seeing Him change me... til I feel like a different person than before...... Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1123113870771030822005-08-03T16:53:00.000-07:002005-08-03T17:06:56.426-07:00So I'm reading this book called "One thing" by Sam Storms right now. Good book... the basic point is that we were created to be absolutely awed by the beauty of God, and that when we begin to get to that place of wonder, then our lives and actions will change. Anywho, this guy was trying to get across the HUGENESS of enjoying God, and so he wrote this loooooong list of how we were made to be in Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1122859409018933602005-07-31T18:07:00.000-07:002005-07-31T18:26:54.116-07:00I find myself struggling with some questions as of late. Questions about myself, and about where I'm headed in life. I always think I know the answers to these questions, and I always find out that, yet again, I do not. I always think I know how the future will look, and then God throws a curveball in my plans and I find myself hanging onto life by the wire once again... not knowing where I'm Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1121699173931074202005-07-18T07:55:00.000-07:002005-07-18T08:16:50.433-07:00Yesterday I hung out with my friends Galen and Dot. They have a 13-month old daughter called Mercie, who's the cutest thing ever. We went to my friend Curt's house and Mercie, like any kid her age, was getting into a lot of stuff... Curt's CD's, the computer wires, etc, and Galen kept on having to pull her back from those things. Now, for some reason, I find dads with their babies fascinating. I Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1121362062890090852005-07-14T10:18:00.000-07:002005-07-14T10:31:49.176-07:00I don't know where my life is headed, but I know what I want my focus to be.I want it to be YOU Jesus!I don't know if I'm to be a youth pastor or a writer or a permanent Tim Hortons employee or a missionary in a grass hut in Africa or a housewife with 2.5 kids and a house with a white picket fence.I don't know if my life will be busy or quiet, whether I will be known or unknown, whether I will Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1120751128495243822005-07-07T08:30:00.000-07:002005-07-07T08:48:42.426-07:00How many times......have I valued works for You over intimacy with You?...have I wanted to be hero for You and neglected to be Your friend?...have I refused to sit at Your feet for fear of appearing lazy to others?...have I believed the North American lie that says that in order to be worth something you must achieve something great, and the Christianized version that says that in order to be of Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1120242667760949452005-07-01T11:14:00.000-07:002005-07-01T11:32:07.850-07:00Is it possible to become totally satisfied in God on this side of eternity?This is the question I find myself pondering as of late. Right now, I just want MORE of Him... but I don't know how to get there! When I spend time with Him, I do taste His presence... but only a drop of it. That drop satisfies for the moment, but it whets my appetite, and something deep inside me keeps crying out "THERE Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1120062933264804562005-06-29T09:22:00.000-07:002005-06-29T09:39:56.266-07:00UNDERWATER WORSHIPI was thinking about worship today, and I remembered something cool my pastor from my church over here said about it once, so I thought I'd share...Ever been snorkeling? I have, once, in the Caribbean. It's quite the experience... being surrounded by tropical fish and coral reefs, being able to look into the ocean world yet still have the air from our world sustaining you. Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1119820747473613332005-06-26T14:15:00.000-07:002005-06-26T16:12:01.693-07:00It's Sunday afternoon and for the first time in a long time I have absolutely no plans for the rest of the day. You would think I'd enjoy that but in reality I'm kind of bored! So, I think I will write about the book I'm reading, cuz it's incredible! (Hey there's something I could do... go read my book!)So this book is called "Desiring God" and it's by John Piper. The basic idea of the book is Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1119541805761081042005-06-23T08:45:00.000-07:002005-06-23T08:50:05.766-07:00An excerpt from an email to a bunch of my freinds:I'm really struggling with knowing how to talk to people at my workplace about God.There's a guy at my work who's also a Christian, and we're not super-close but we've known eachother for awhile and are friends. I've been talking to various girls at work about God and this one girlis soooo bitter towards Christians (she's had some really bad Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1118767423604438322005-06-14T09:41:00.000-07:002005-06-14T11:55:18.513-07:00I'm really trying to learn about what it means to be worshipper of God right now. It's an interesting pursuit. While I was on my trip, I read a book called "The Pleasures of Loving God" by Mike Bickle, and it talks about the "Mary of Bethany anointing", which is an anointing of prayer and worship. I began wondering if this is something that God has put on me since I've had lots of people prophesyMaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1118191576913942122005-06-07T17:35:00.000-07:002005-06-07T17:50:56.166-07:00I can't remeber the last time I felt this happy, this clean, this at peace with God. Seriously, the trip did something crazy to me. I feel like I'm alive again... born again, not that I wasn't "born again" before, but now I feel it. I feel like a new person, now that I've dealt with some stuff and basically recommitted myself to God.For too long I allowed myself to be ruled by anger towards the Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1117474243933317342005-05-30T10:20:00.000-07:002005-05-30T13:49:03.903-07:00Lifelaunch 2005I have tasted life.I have felt Jesus' arms wrap around me so tightly, His love leaking through the walls I so carefully construct.I have seen people who have nothing but yet have everything.I now know who is truly poor.I have soared to heights of wonder with God and plummeted to the depths of self-hatred- sometimes within a few hours of eachother.I have heard praise arising from Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1114206609751074552005-04-22T14:45:00.000-07:002005-04-22T19:47:15.960-07:00Reflections from White RockEveryone needs moments in touch with their inner flower child I had mine running barefoot on the beach blowing bubbles splashing in the ocean, not caring if I get wet the sea breeze ruffling my hair and my thoughts so gloriousAwesome times with awesome friends and an awesome God the sun shining down barefoot, childlike free from worries and the shackles Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1114016566693072062005-04-20T09:55:00.000-07:002005-04-20T10:02:46.693-07:00To fear I say NOYou will not control me anymoreI will not live by your rules any longerYou have held me captive for too longand I will not have it stay that wayFear of failure, I say that I am more than a conquerer through HimFear of rejection, I say that I am loved unconditionally and His love is all I needFear of mistakes, I say I have a God who picks me up when I fallWorry, you cannot hold me Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1113851111469323272005-04-18T11:52:00.000-07:002005-04-18T12:05:11.470-07:00I've had some weird experiences in the last few weeks with the prophetic... I guess that's what it is anyway. As I mentioned a few posts ago, about 2 weeks ago God put this crazy burden of intercession on me to pray for this friend of mine who was going through some stuff... and even though it kinda sucked at the time, it turned out really well... after praying for a few days on and off for this Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1113535031814551382005-04-14T20:14:00.000-07:002005-04-14T20:19:07.236-07:00Ever have those moments when everthing just kinda hits you and it's overwhelming?Guys...I'm going on a freaking MISSIONS TRIP to another continent in less that 2 weeks! And I'm going to be there for a whole month! And it's going to be crazy! And really hot too!I'm 22 and this is my first missions trip, and I'm so freaking PUMPED it's not even funny!!!I'm going to Guyana!!! It's actually happeningMaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1112669705472787362005-04-04T19:47:00.000-07:002005-04-04T20:02:12.966-07:00Sometimes it just hurts too much to love.Sometimes I just want to run away from it all and never love again.I asked You for compassion for a tender heart that extends Your love to others.But now that You are giving it to me sometimes I just want it to stopSometimes I wish I didn't love my friends the way I doBecause when they hurt, I hurtI feel their pain too wellSometimes You put a burden of Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1111466962586915012005-03-21T20:35:00.000-08:002005-03-24T08:58:54.223-08:00My child:You lie broken. You have been stripped of of everything- leadership, dreams, security, pride. You are in the desert, a place where you can do absolutely nothing but depend on Me. And that is a very good place to be.I had to bring you here. You knew that with Me you could do anything, but you did not know that without Me you could do nothing. All of your efforts to live for Me were markedMaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1111260779516449862005-03-19T11:25:00.000-08:002005-03-19T11:34:05.886-08:00Father...I know this is for the goodBut why must it hurt so badly?You break meto rebuild me as something beautifulBut all I see is broken bones and twisted limbsA heart ridden with anger and fear and pridepoured out on the altar for all to seeRemains of dreams and hopes and loveLie scattered across the wastelandAnd I acheWhen will it be my turn, Father?When will I arise in power?How long until Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1110305801975945092005-03-08T10:08:00.000-08:002005-03-08T18:02:08.813-08:00YOUYour dance is so gloriousawakens me to gracethe mystery and beauty of Your fragrance heredraw tears from my depthsa million thoughts and dreams and emotionsall encased in a single teardropcrystallline, sparklingfalling liquid towards the concreteshattering in rainbows around my feetthe sounds to velvet midnight as I walkthe glory of a rainbow palette released to flight across a golden Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1109294140865174132005-02-24T16:56:00.000-08:002005-02-26T20:19:56.020-08:00(This is a long one, but bear with me...)It's weird how sometimes the strangest things will stir a hunger for God in me. Last Monday I was reading a fictional book telling the story of the life of Jabez. Near the end of the book, Jabez has an encounter with the glory of God. Just reading the way the author described it, even though it was completely fictional, made me start to cry:"I fell to the Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1108873979324728992005-02-19T20:19:00.000-08:002005-04-05T20:16:59.693-07:00DREAMSI want to speak. I want to bring words of restoration and life to a broken generation. I want to see losers become victors, wimps become warriors, and dropouts become leaders. I want my hands to be hands of healing. I want to write books, to put all that God has poured into me into the hands of others, that maybe He would use my words to touch them.I want to travel. I want to hear praises Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1108772851627772542005-02-18T16:16:00.000-08:002005-02-18T16:27:31.630-08:00For the first time in too long, I feel at peace. I don't know exactly why. I don't know if it's the fact that God is providing money for me (I got over $1500 from various members of my church at home for my missions trip!), or if it's that He's been helping me resolve some issues in some of my friendships, or just that I've somehow begun to grasp that He is indeed good. I'm not totally sure. All Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1108094047712323022005-02-10T19:46:00.000-08:002005-02-10T19:54:07.720-08:00Enough of my blabbing, lets hear from you!Four questions for you to consider....1 (the question that I'm learning the answer to but still want others opinions): What does it look like to serve, worship, and follow Jesus in 2005 in North America? I'm not talking about just "being a Christian", but seriously following Him with everything? What does is look like today?2 (the question I seriously Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1107131375214293722005-01-30T16:15:00.000-08:002005-01-30T17:49:25.043-08:00You probably wouldn't think that Jesus goes roller-skating, especially not in Whalley! (For all you non-lower mainlanders, Whalley is the bad part of Surrey). I wouldn't have thought so either, but last night, I found out that I was wrong- I had an encounter with Jesus at the Stardust roller rink.
I wasn't really looking for an encounter with Him, either. Going on a date with Jesus wasn't on my Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1106792662784834092005-01-26T18:00:00.000-08:002005-01-26T18:24:22.783-08:00Right now I feel like a big rubber band or a piece of toffee or something like that right now. It's like God's taking me and going streeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch until I feel like I'm going to break in two. It sucks but I know it's good... know what I mean? Gaaagh! I'm pulling my hair out. God wants me to trust Him with all that I hold dear and it's freakin SCARY!! A bunch of my friends are goingMaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1106438036764516452005-01-22T15:27:00.000-08:002005-01-22T15:59:40.630-08:00Thoughts from last week's youth group:
We, as human beings, intrinsically feel that something is missing in our lives. We aren't fulfilled. We aren't walking in everything that God has for us. We aren't fully alive. In the words of Switchfoot, we are "living with our eyes half open. Things are not the way that they should be, and we can feel it deep down in our core. There's a gap missing, and Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1105745456766874632005-01-14T15:03:00.000-08:002005-01-14T15:53:32.843-08:00I feel in shock today. You know how when you hurt yourself or you get really sick or you go in for surgery, your body often takes a few days to recover? That's how I feel inside right now. Last night some really crazy stuff happened, leaving me exhausted and weak today.
It seems that my heart is split in two. One part of me is madly in love with Jesus. This is the side of me that sees His beauty Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1104615799582688292005-01-01T13:06:00.000-08:002005-01-01T13:44:53.790-08:00Perhaps its true...
that I have spent my whole life searching for acceptance and approval that I will never find in this world
but that Your acceptance is truly all I need
that the whole world is caught up in a game of climbing up an invisible ladder, trying to be at the top of some senseless invisible heiarchy
that even the church is caught up in the game, each person trying to prove themselves Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1103780555143241902004-12-22T21:16:00.000-08:002004-12-22T21:42:35.143-08:00Today I was making gingerbread men with Alice and listening to Starfield. They're a somewhat poppy worship band that's really big now (and I went to school with the bass player and had a crush on him in grade 10- that's my claim to fame! Go Shaun Huberts!) They remind me a lot of the music I listened to in high school, and made me kind of reminiscent.
And I wished life were that easy again.
I Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1103344886899076912004-12-17T20:15:00.000-08:002004-12-17T20:41:26.900-08:00I'm back in Vic for the holidays. It's good to be at home for a bit- school was REALLY wearing me down. I'm at an interesting place right now in my walk with God. It's not super-easy right now, I feel like I'm on the edge of apathy and frustration, I guess it's a bit of a "dry season" right now. Despite this, though, God has been working in me even though it's not this crazy, grand, glorious Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1102816009134734532004-12-11T17:27:00.000-08:002004-12-11T17:46:49.133-08:00Okay kids, it's time for a CONTROVERSIAL DISCUSSION!!! You ready??
Earlier today a good friend and I were talking on the phone and we got into a discussion about correcting fellow believers. I'm really confused about what I think, so I'm asking for your opinion. Let's say that I have a friend who is a Christian, and who is making a decision that I believe is dangerous for them, that could lead toMaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1102657934997118782004-12-09T21:37:00.000-08:002004-12-09T21:54:23.756-08:00Come, they told me pah-rum-pa-pum-pum
Our newborn King to see pah-rum-pa-pum-pum
Our finest gifts we bring pah-rum-pa-pum-pum
To lay before the King pah-rum-pa-pum-pum, rum-pa-pum-pum, rum-pa-pum-pum
So to honour Him pah-rum-pa-pum-pum
Here we come
Baby Jesus pah-rum-pa-pum-pum
I am a poor boy too pah-rum-pa-pum-pum
I have no gift to bring pah-rum-pa-pum-pum
To lay before the King Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1102379159223174012004-12-06T15:57:00.000-08:002004-12-06T16:26:18.330-08:00Lately I've realized that a lot of my problems are due to my own lack of self-esteem. (Deep, huh?) But seriously, my little "depressed" moments usually have a lot to do with my own view of myself and my view of others. Maria and I were talking last night and she's writing a psychology paper right now, so she ended up kinda psychoanalyzing me, and we came to the conclusion that I have an immense Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1102055572819452452004-12-02T22:18:00.000-08:002004-12-02T22:32:52.820-08:00It's time for a sneak peek into the P's personal life (as if I don't normally write about my personal life!). I warn you that the beginning of this post may sound like I'm whining, but bear with me, it gets better. Here goes.
Being single sucks sometimes.
It especially sucks when you're 22 next week, all your friends back home are hookinig up, and you're at a "bridal college" where people have Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1101532022369341282004-11-26T20:54:00.000-08:002004-11-26T21:11:46.726-08:00I only understand the tiniest shred of God's grace and love for me.
I've come to realize this in the last week or so. Despite the fact that at Jesus School I took a whole course on grace, despite that I've spent the last year practically studying it, despite numerous encounters in that time with the love of God, despite the fact that I'm always telling everyone else to stop beating themselves up Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1100652111828515532004-11-16T16:25:00.000-08:002004-11-16T16:41:51.826-08:00Today I had a very interesting moment. Once a week we have small groups called LIFEgroups, which are kind of like accountability groups. In my group we usually talk about how our lives are, but the last 2 weeks we've done different things. Last week our leader Danielle decided that we were going to do a service project. So we helped Rob, the school's president, clean up the IMM house and paint Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948239.post-1099875361920873582004-11-07T16:39:00.000-08:002004-11-07T16:56:01.920-08:00I wrote this poem on the bus on the way back from church. It really sums up the last 3 weeks of my life. It starts off sounding rather depressing, but fear not, it gets better.
Many tears have escaped my eyes
Many anxious thoughs have tumbled 'bout in the murky waters of my mind
They come, baring steel claws
That clench onto my heart
Leaving scars
As frustration and apathy play chess within my Maryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17602136789659461129noreply@blogger.com